It was the night of December 8, 1990. Recalling the date is easy as it was the 10th anniversary of John Lennon's passing and the radio was playing his music all day. We had been out for a night of twenty-something year old hanging around, and we had just dropped off my sister at her car. My friend and I decided on one final place before calling it a night.
Through the intersection right by our destination, a large white van made a left in front of our right of way. I remember thinking to myself 'we're going to go, and then they're going to go...' but instead they cut us off and hit the front of our car. I wasn't wearing a seat belt so upon impact, I put a hole in the windshield with my face. At the time I had no idea this had just happened, but I noticed the car was turned sideways. Then I felt blood gush from my forehead. I went to put down the visor mirror only to have my friend scream "Barbie, no!" and slam it up so I couldn't look at myself. I got out of the car and started screaming. As I stood up I felt like I was going to pass out. A bouncer from the corner bar ran over just in time and threw his arms around me. He was very big and he was holding me upright like it was his duty. It's a vivid memory for me that my head felt strange resting against his slick windbreaker. Then I heard sirens and they had never sounded so sweet. When the paramedics arrived, I remember them trying to look me steadily in the eye and asking how in the world I was conscious. I trembled that I didn't know, but please take the contacts out of my eyes. They strapped me to the gurney, obliged, and we were on our way. I went into complete shock. At the hospital they told me they had woken up the best plastic surgeon in town and he would be coming soon. In the wee hours of that morning I had reconstructive surgery on my eye.
A few weeks later, the Dr. removed the stitches and left me with some somber words. “You're going to have glass coming out of your face forever…” he said looking at me with a sideways glance, and then he shrugged about it. “You’re lucky to have your eye."
I wasn't sure how I was going to look after I healed from the surgery, but I wasn't so worried about the future. I came home from the hospital missing eyelashes and an eyebrow and very cut up all over my forehead, but I was very grateful I still had my eye. I pampered my scars and stayed out of the sun, and everything healed very nicely. My scars were and still are barely visible.
Eight years later, as forewarned, the glass started coming out of my face. I would feel it sticking out and pull it out, and then more would come. After months of the glass coming out of a particular area, it would stop, and then finally heal. I would rejoice that it was done, and then it would pop up somewhere else. This process went on from 1998-2002 and left little scars and holes in my face that are more noticeable than that from the initial surgery. My 'third eye' opened and healed then reopened again three times in that four years, and is open now again.
When people ask if it hurts my standard answer is "yes, it hurts when I look in the mirror" but I'm just trying to be funny. Yes, it hurts. It pinches, it stings, and it burns.
I visited the surgeon in the year 2000 to see if he could help me. My wound was very big, and I was having an allergic reaction to the Neosporin I had used in an attempt to help it along. He said to only put Vitamin E cream on it and sent me on my way. He saw surgery as a waste of money. "We can only get what's right at the surface, not what's working it's way out. We don't know how much more is left nor is there anyway to know. There's really nothing you can do, just be patient. We can do scar revision surgery later if you want."
A couple of more years went by and it seemingly stopped! There was minor scarring, but I didn't see the need for more surgery. I was just glad the years of walking around with an open wound on my face was over.
"Oh no, not again..." were the words out of everyone's mouths, (including mine) when nine years later, in the spring of 2011, I felt glass underneath my skin again. I mentally noted the date when the first piece broke its way through this time around. That was 2 years and 7 months ago. That is the same amount of time that I wore braces on my teeth!
As I write this in the fall of 2013, it is still healing. I wear band-aids and hats during the day for protection from the sun, and at night I just suck it up and deal with the insecurity. It could be worse, and I know that is a true statement. I admit I've stayed in more than I should because it is hard to go out sometimes. I think it looks awful and slightly confusing and disturbing. I think it's almost done, but I say that every month.
Some people have asked if it is there to enhance my work, while others have speculated that the wound has something to do with my work. While this sounds plausible, I do not believe it to be true. Now that I do psychic work I recognize I've always been psychic, and I have my own personal beliefs about my Mediumship gift and how that came to be. I understand the third eye correlation so maybe it does help my work, I have no idea how to tell. If others believe that to be true I'm okay with that, who am I to say otherwise.
Over time, I am well convinced that I had a helper that night. My guardian angel was with me, and I questioned that as soon as the very next day. My 22 year old reality slightly changed after that, because I knew I wasn't alone and I was being given another chance, I just wasn't sure why.
I am reminded of how lucky I am by sharing my story on an almost daily basis. People say it's fascinating and I agree. Our skin is an organ that grows and regenerates itself, and I understand that now almost a little too well. I'm not sure of the time frame for how much longer it will take to completely heal. Stay tuned and thanks for reading!